... is not "Dull." In spite of all the unexpected and living the proverbial “one day at a time,” I have been exuberant about life and hopeful in its potential. If you must talk of feelings, I can say I have felt the usual range of emotions under the given circumstances – from the insanely depressed to the drunkenly ecstatic – but never, for a moment, have I felt dull or bored. Someone asked me once what I did all day to which I replied: “Why, I just spontaneously combust around 4 in the afternoon and then I have a cup of tea.” But, seriously, looking for a job is a full-time job in itself and taxes a lot of emotional energy besides giving you carpal-tunnel syndrome (all those mouse clicks, you know).
However, as things stand, I am doing fine. I have a part-time job and thanks to a dear friend, I’m living in an amazing apartment in the heart of the city. There’s an oddly liberating feeling not knowing what’s going to happen next and I like it. Relationships have been invariably tested and perhaps a few may have fallen by the wayside. Some passing acquaintances have evolved into meaningful bonds and, conversely, some past meaningful bonds have devolved into passing acquaintances. And some bonds just grow richer and sweeter with the passage of time.
Perhaps the best lesson in all of this has been to irrevocably give up all expectations. How many times have I been advised, or counseled others, not to have any expectations? Whether it’s a promotion, a vacation, or a stupid date – so much easier said than done. It’s not a technique you can master over time, it truly is a life lesson. And for that, I am glad. Never a dull moment!
