Once again i found myself at the mercy of a "DC institution" which has consistently wreaked havoc on my so-called dating life. Yup, all the dates i have had here have been consistently bad, if not disasterous. Since it is a nice, well-populated place with the option of coffee/drinks/dinner, the first date can go on as long as you want to. Anyway, none of the men (?) i've met there have matured into anything resembling fruitful.
So tonight i met - on a very last minute invitation - this chap at Kramer's. At first, i thought we weren't going there, but since he suggested it, i rolled my eyes and said, "why the hell not?" I met Mr B online only 2 days ago (maa and married friends told me to be more proactive!!) and he was so insistent on meeting me i thought OK, i've handled other freaks, i can do this, too. I talked to him briefly on the phone and immediately dismissed him... did not sound confident at ALL, had a very saaad desi accent (and i have one, too but i'm a snob about the *type* of desi accent... something more coherent then what he was saying for sure) and just seemed too pushy for my liking.
so we ended up getting dinner there and it occured to me during the course of the conversation, he was getting a soft corner for me. this was due to 3 reasons (i think):
- he was very new to the city and i was being nice and friendly to him. wanted to meet more people, asked me about what to do, etc.
- i talked about his hometown in Bhopal which i had visited back in 1992 and he got this glazed look in his eyes. later he mentioned nobody in his 7 yrs in the US of A had talked about Bhopal like i did. what can i say?? i just have a damn good memory!
- he offered to show me his apt. (i mentioned my woes). "you should move into my apt.," he said. "err, that won't be necessary or even possible," i said. "nono, i meant my apt. complex. it's super nice," he said. hmm. don't think so.
But before all of you rush to his defence and yell, "what's wrong with him? he sounds sooo nice!" let me make it totally clear i'm really not attracted to him. it's not looks, though it is def a factor. it's not his accent, either. though that really bothers me, too. he has zero personality!!! also very full of himself coz he works for the govt - pshaw! so? - and has no inclination to visit India in near future. plus he's got no interest to travel or do anything fun that i like to do. so let me sum up my quandry: nice chap, but i can't date him. i also don't want to pull the "let's just be friends" crap on him. i have lots of friends already :) right now, i have a legit excuse... my cellphone charger is lost... seriously... but is it better to tell the truth?? or should i just ignore the whole thing? he did pay for my meal.
14 comments:
what's wrong with him? he sounds sooo nice!
But I know what you are saying. Sometimes you just don't find a spark.
Give him the standard spiel. "I am not looking to date at the moment," "I am planning to focus on my career," "your perfume gives me allergies" and so on :)
Dont be a fool...keep your options open!
And oh...sometimes it takes a while for the it to spark!
And he was good enough for you to mention in your blog afterall!
Plus its all in the head yaar ;)
dna: trust you married folks to impart wisdom :) i think i'll go with the "you are not as partriotic as i am" line!! never had to use it before.
nc: keeping your options open doesn't mean you have to suffer fools gladly. kuch to samjho!
Finally, some B Jones stuff. Should I point some nice guys in your direction once in a while?
Finally, some B Jones stuff. Should I point some nice guys in your direction once in a while?
arre, you dont have to do anything, just get someone to point your blog out to him and that will take care of all quandaries :-)
nc: keeping your options open doesn't mean you have to suffer fools gladly. kuch to samjho!
No...No...No..you have it all wrong...you make him a fool! you dont suffer the fool!
monica: nice guys? u mean the ones who r gay or not available??
alpana: an update - he sent a follow-up email and spelt my name as Shipla. so why even bother???
nc: true, and get more research material for match.mom!
tsk... "shipla" was obviously a typo, you never made those before? C'mon!!
Secondly.."no personality" or "full of himself"? Pick one, and stick with it. (BTW, where I come from, this is called picking hairs, I think)
On the whole, though, definitely a no-go, especially if he doesn't even like to travel. did he say so specifically or did you just assume that because he didn't plan to go to India in a hurry? different things, I would think.
Do you know if he has a blog? now THAT would be interesting!
I believe in love at first sight or at least liking at first sight..;-) If you didn’t feel that way then it is not worth it. You don’t want to regret it afterwards & think, “Oh I didn’t have good feeling the minute I met him still why the heck did I consider him” ;-) There must be a great guy waiting for you so don’t compromise on this one.. Its not that he is on sale or something.. lol
Sorry Shilpa. I'd thought of someone in DC but I have figured he's a jerk. You are right, available=jerks (for lack of better word)
Hey, If you're not attracted to a guy then you're not. You don't have to come up with an air tight scientific explanation for it, not for him or for anyone else.
kanika: no personality, and last i checked, no blog :D
mommyof2: great guy.. waiting.. sounds like an oxymoron but i'll take it!! lol
monica: yeah i believe u!
anonymous: lighten up a bit, it's just a silly blog.
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