Monday, April 30, 2007

What Was I Thinking?

As I went through the particulars of yet another gentleman sent by the efficient matchmaking services of Parents’ Network & Co., I thought to myself why not? It’s been a while since I had allowed myself to get set up like this and I kept telling myself: “It was time to step out of my comfort zone, take chances, if not now, when, etc. etc.” Besides, how bad could he be? My friends were already excited about him.
Older? Check = mature, knows what he wants.
Gainfully self-employed? Check = sitting on shit loads of money.
Spouting Shakespeare, showing off French? Check = incurable romantic.
Extra bonuses? Check = enjoys cooking, speaks with a lilting British accent and (claims to have) read Lord of the Rings.
Hmm, all quite intriguing. However, for a change, my mum wasn’t enthusiastic. Are you sure about him? Sounds bit shady. Forget the money, forget the cooking and the faux accent – is he a nice person? Well, if I don’t meet him and try to find out, I’ll never know, right. Reverse psychology was at work here…. aaaaaaarrrrgh.
So on my trip to NY this weekend, I finally decided to see what the fuss was about. Get it over with. Oh! Wait, gotta stay positive right… he could be The One and all that jazz.
Sunday, 1:30 p.m. lunch at Bukhara on 49th and 3rd. It’s 70 degree weather and he’s wearing a black turtleneck. And a scarf. And a jacket. Anyway, we get seated inside and he recommends the lamb chops and the chicken tikkas. He orders up a Scotch and I need a masala chai. It’s 2 p.m. and it’s down to the nitty gritty. The nitty gritty is all about him, his vision and his post-retirement plans ie. next year when he turns 40 and wants to travel the world twice over. zzzzz… what time is it already? Where are the lamb chops? Oh, here they are. Ummm, wonderful. Now about me… I haven’t got a 401k yet and retiring is not on my agenda for a while. I love traveling too but I need something to return to ie. some form of work. Great lamb chops, by the way. The man is sweating profusely now, because duh! the black turtleneck. On top of that, he asks if I am feeling too hot in my jacket. It’s cotton, so I’m fine, thank you very much. Great lamb chops, by the way. I ask him about his other interests. Music? Movies? Star Trek conventions? The poor chap hasn’t had the time to take a vacation in the past 15 years, forget about cultivating a hobby. He has seen 3 cities in all of India and they were all terribly dirty and so, so crowded, you know. Ah well, moving on… did I mention the lamb chops were excellent? I did.
Finally the time has come. For goodbyes. It’s 3:15 p.m. at Penn Station and after a fairly not-interested-in-that-way kinda hug, I promise to email and say I reached DC in one piece. Which I have and I can’t stop raving about the lamb chops. They were great, did I even bother saying that here? Tchah, silly me.


kalpana said...

just came across your blog and couldn't stop laughing! I had a similar experience a few years ago except the guy kept hiccuping through the meal. we tried to talk but it was quite hard.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Moms can be so prescient. or may be worldy-wise :-)

Paddu said...

Hmmmmm...frankly I was most amused by this one. Couldn't you have stayed on for a little while longer, ordered another set of lamb chops and then just have it packed....he was paying least you would have gotten two meals out of this experience!

shilpa said...

kalpana: uhoh that must've been, hic, quite hard.
anon: yes, i keep forgetting that lesson.
paddu: you know i didn't even finish my first set of lamb chops... in fact he packed up the rest and took it home! which is just as well.

Monica said...

Sigh. But does that mean you won't be taking chances again for a while? I hope not

Rohini said...

Did you atleast get a free lunch out of it?

Shilpa said...

monica: well chances are i won't be making the mistake of seeing someone who pretends to know shakespeare and tolkein!!
rohini: yes, i definitely did! :)

clio1900 said...

Brilliant. You outdid yourself!:D

Mosilager said...

the jokes are writing themselves ha ha. so now this guy will probably be always known as mr. lamb chops.

Shilpa said...

clio: danke :D
mosilager: actually i was already calling him mr fake brit accent. haha. good to see u again.

Mosilager said...

thanks, nice to see you on the dog blog too. looks like i missed a lot here - so will try to play catch-up.

there, added your rss feed to the reader - will never miss a post again!

rup said...

The prospective groom has not taken a vacation in 15 years. Shilpa, give him a break!