Thursday, August 31, 2006

The Demise of a Celestial Body

Thanks to Kanika who found this on the BBC comments section. Hilarious!!

Some observations:
1. An American discovered Pluto. This proves most of the world is anti-American.
2. Dwarf is insensitive. We must refer to Pluto as Planetoidally Challenged.
3. Could this mean Mickey Mouse's dog is really a chihuahua?
4. What if folks on Jupiter do not regard Earth as a planet?
5. Do astrologers have to erase the parts that refer to Pluto's influence on our behaviour?
6. Pluto is the Roman god of the underworld amd judge of the dead. It's not a good idea to annoy him.
How many other planets will leave the federation in sympathy now that we've pushed out Pluto?And if they all join the Romulan empire then where will we be? I'll tell you. Working as slave labour in the acid mines of Rygel 7 while Darth Vader and Sadam Hussein are lying on sun loungers on Venus sipping Pinocoladas laughing at our sorry acid burn't asses. Probably.
Holy Astro-Bodies, Batman! Now they're discriminating against planets! What's next? Will Jupiter be an "Obese Planet"?
Planet, once was I, Laughing in the dark.
Uttered it was, I am too small,
Together they sealed my fate.
Orbit in the darkness now, my status is no more.
Pluto you are the weakest link, Goodbye!
News just in ... Plutonians have just reclassified Earth ... official report describes the Planet Earth as nothing more that a large blue cauliflower covered in creatures that think they're important.
This planet is no more! He has ceased to be! 'e's demoted and gone to meet 'is maker!'e's a stiff! Bereft of gravitational pull, 'e 'angs 'is 'ead in shame! 'is planetary processes are now 'istory! 'e's off the twig!'e's lost 'is title, 'e's shuffled off 'is planetariness, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir comets and icy objects!!

Monday, August 28, 2006

To Move or Not to Move

A friend who is shifting cross-country to LA to start a new job was waiting for her moving truck to arrive only to discover in horror that the truck was soooo huge it could not turn into her street!! so another truck had to be booked, etc. while she guarded parking spaces with her dear life. i was woken up at 10 am on a Saturday to come over and give her company... and take on any jacks who wanted to evict us from the sidewalk. we hung out there for nearly 3.5 hrs on the sidewalk till the replacement truck arrived!! thank god it wasn't too hot. we munched on cereal, walnuts and figs. spent some good ol' quality time chatting about everything under the sun. it was just as well before she left and stuff... sniff sniff!!!
also met up with alpana and her family later in the evening and did the whole national mall walk.. another exhausting trek but it was fun hanging out with them, of course.
in other depressing moving news, i may have to start looking for a new place because my landlord just hiked up my rent. bah! and i may have to get a roommate this time. again. double bah!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Clinton and I

As i heard Bill Clinton's soft, reassuring words on the world AIDS crisis on the Charlie Rose Show - he was on speaker phone from Vegas (err, ever wonder why they never had a world AIDS conference there??) but he still sounded great - i couldn't help feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. we had both celebrated our birthdays this weekend. he made it to 60 and i made it to 31. He had battled with weight, fought an impeachment and survived a marriage. Now he is helping the helpless. I am battling with weight, fighting a low-paying job, and surviving pleas to get married. I'm helpless, too but Clinton is too busy on the lecture circuit to see me. Plus we don't go to the same parties. But it's OK... i'm also working on that book - tentatively called Match.Mom

Friday, August 18, 2006

Pluck of Wisdom

Ok so it is officially hip to have thick eyebrows. The catwalks of Milan and Paris are dancing to the tunes of designers who say a little amazon jungle arching over your eyes is good. Seriously, did we need a fashion trend to tell us this stuff?? Me and my band of bushy-eyebrowed friends are arching ourselves over proudly to say: Hah! We always knew that.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Lady in Pink

I'm walking along as i normally do (yeah coz i hate running unless it's for a bus or i've been mugged, but i digress) and right in front of me is this crossdresser who is like the spitting image of Ricky Gervais except this chap was a bit taller, hair darker, no beard and wearing a pink dress and a lovely string of pearls to match. so i saw him for the second time and he was wearing the same outfit. maybe he just likes to put it on every thurs. or something. but the resemblence to Gervais was hilarious. why am i bringing up a crossdresser when there are loonies wanting to blow up planes with drinking bottles?? because this guy is just so sane in comparison. plus you gotta love pearls on a guy!!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Cacophonic Mistake

So I am one of those people who owns a lot of those “Best of…” or “#1 Hits” CDs. And yup, I still listen to my good ol' CD player. Prince, Fleetwood Mac, Beatles, Madonna, even Def Leppard have found shelf space in the “best of” category just because a) I can’t be bothered buying all the albums with my favorite songs and b) itunes wasn’t around back then.
A couple years ago in my zeal to acquire some classical stuff I got a hold of this 2-CD compilation called The No. 1 Opera Album. The name is pretty tacky but it really has all the hits of the opera world – Carmen, Figaro, Hebrews Chorus, Madame Butterfly – you name it, and it’s there. It takes me a while to actually get in to the music (since I’m multi-tasking as usual) but when I do, my falsetto, baritone and soprano come out together in such a way that anyone will be forced to say, "STOP." I've been doing this ritual since I was around 7 (Russian opera singers apparently fascinated me), my mom has threatened to disown me more than a couple times.
Yesterday I did one of those cacophonic performances for my ears only, but methinx a neighbor might have knocked gently to give me a not-so-subtle hint. I know my singing is half-baked, but what I truly believe is that I was supposed to be an orchestra conductor. The control, the drama, the crazy hair – it’s all me. Can’t you see it?? Also, does someone have a copy of Smetana's "Ma Vlast"??

Monday, August 07, 2006


That's the operating word, my friends. You see there is a girl - with short, blonde hair and a cool, conservative skirt. She doesn't wear dark glasses or high heeled boots but she makes traffic stop. Literally. I've seen her before but this morning i saw her navigate the crossing - just by herself and her walking stick. No help asked and none given. I was a few yards behind her and watched the traffic lights change, the drivers patiently waiting for her to go across. I just saw her and said "Salut!"

Friday, August 04, 2006

Restaurant Week

Not even a week actually and i have hopped across three restaurants in my teeny tiny little neighborhood. Indique, as everyone knows, is the place which advertises "unique Indian flavors" and both the ambiance and food is pretty good. I stuck to veggie dishes for a change and even though the paneer was a bit rubbery, the kali daal is always a sure bet. They also have an excellent gosht and but i can't remember the name.
Next was Palena, the cute little French bistro where the bartender makes the best sidecars. The prix fixe menu with a 3-course meal is damn pricey so stick to the $10-12 cafe menu. French cuisine is always a nice break from American standard fare because of its portions (small) and although they use cheese liberally in salads, quiches, crepes, etc., there is a method to the madness. For more on French cheese, go here.
Last night was another cosy place called Yanni's, and yup, if you're familiar with the musician, this place was Greek, too. No snotty maitre'd trying to intimidate you here. Mediterrenean food is healthy and yummy... the spinakopita (grape leaves), spinach pie with feta cheese, mousaka (eggplant with meat and potatoes) were some things we ordered. a friend even tried a liver cutlet with a side of onions and gobi, which was not bad!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Connecting the Dots

It's sizzling outside but i'm feeling groovy, baby. The past few days have been an interesting story of connecting dots. I must've said "this is so f*ing bizarre" at least 10 times. Amongst the several random connections i made, it was nice to know that cliches like "the world is so small" actually work in my case!! Sorry Tom Friedman.
besides that, the small comforts of just catching up with some old - and new - friends have been oddly reassuring. so far the summer has been the inevitible mix of the good and the horrible but as the Dog Days of August rears its ugly head, i'd like to believe the rest of the year will be as cheerful - if not crazy - as the past few days.